Bear with

I was ironing a shirt, for work, when S appeared. I said, ‘”OK, pause for breakfast.”

“Sounds indigestible,” said he, “the fur gets between your teeth, and the claws scratch on the way down. Let’s have toast instead.’

'Or maybe polar bear paws would slip down easier - they are furry on the bottoms...'

The other homophone that always gets us smiling is custody, so when we hear, “He was taken into custardy” we conjure some sad soul (or is it sole?) in a dank cell squelching gelatinous yellow stuff between his toes. Or maybe it is a flat fish that has been apprehended. Hmm... Dover Sole and Custard – another unattractive dish.

An overused expression used to annoy me, but now – with the help of homophony –  it makes me guffaw inside each time I hear it. This is “Bare with me.” So what does she want me to bare? My chest perhaps? Or worse? Or is she really saying “Bear with me”, hinting that there is a grizzly in the room so I must talk quietly for fear of angering it?

An unambigous peacock at our window